Monday, July 27, 2020

Hot Dogs

Hot Dogs Ive always been a big eater. Part of this may be because my dad is not only a fire fighter but also because he used to be a cook. For those of you who are out of the loop, fire fighters cook enough food for an army, and when theyre on shift thats fine. When a fire fighter cooks for an army but only has to feed a family, the boy has to eat it all. Thatd be me, Im the boy, and Im used to eating massive amounts of food. Before Matt, Ben, and I gave our presentation last week we went for lunch at a place called Spikes Junkyard Dogs. While there I noticed a contest that challenged patrons to eat as many hot dogs as possible. Being the typical MIT student with a huge ego I say to Matt and Ben Psh, I can do that, look! The record is only 14, and you get an hour and a half to do it, how is that even hard!? Matt and Ben were skeptic. I was not. The e-mail went out Saturday: So Spikes Junkyard Dogs (http://www.spikesjunkyarddogs.com/index.html) has this neat little contest wherein whoever can eat the most hot dogs in 1.5 hours gets their picture on the wall, a t-shirt, free hot dogs, and all sorts of other fame and admiration. The current record is only 14 dogs. As some of you may know, Im pretty much a garbage disposal for food, so I thought Id give it a try. Im planning on heading over tomorrow at about 3 pm and Id appreciate a cheering section. I cant make any guarantees as to whether Ill be able to eat 15 dogs or not, but Ill certainly end up making myself sick and eat a ridiculous amount of food. Anybody interested, lets meet in the 23 at 3ish. Youre welcome to try to break the record with me! I planned my dinner and breakfast food amounts accordingly and went for a jog in order to make myself hungry. A group of us headed out at 3 and laughed joyously at the thought of what was to come. We got there and I strode up to the counter, slapped down a $50 bill and said Im going to eat 15 hot dogs. The cashier took the money and said Do you know the rules? As many hot dogs as possible, an hour and a half, no bathroom and no throwing up. I nodded and was ready to eat. We all sat down at the table and chatted happily, waiting for our hot dogs to arrive. Zach LaBry 08 decided to try and eat as many as possible as well, so it became a nice little contest between the two of us. Heres our group before our food had arrived, Zach is the one in the middle. The hot dogs began to arrive. Michelle 11 got hers first followed by Zach Bailey 08 (we had more than one Zach in our party, so Zach Bailey actually told the guy at the register his name was Jim). and then Zach LaBry Jordan got hers next and then I started to get mine. I scarfed the first two dogs like they were nothing. By the third one I wasnt really hungry anymore. I could still eat, it just wasnt pleasant. Why such an early sign of defeat? The buns on the hot dogs were actually baguettes. Seriously, they took a loaf of bread, cut it in half, and made it a hot dog bun. It dries out your mouth so much! Being the engineer I am, I decided to try and find an easier way to consume bread. Perhaps if I dunk it in water!? Lets see, now that its all moist Ill just take a bite and then BLECH! Ok, dunking in water maybe wasnt the best idea. At all. Bread turns into this nasty, aloe-like gel-consistency when soaked in water. Its not appetizing. Good thing they gave me a bucket. As I begin fighting my way through my fourth hot dog Zach is on number 5. It is at this point we realize that Zach is a beast and I suck at eating hot dogs. This is what our table looked like about midway through the eating: Notice how I stare at Zach in awe as he scarfs down dog number 7. I am just beginning number 5. Zachs having a great time, Im angry at meat. This is me halfway through dog 5. After an hour and a half I had eaten 5 dogs and Zach had eaten 9. I realized that although I may like to eat a lot of food, my metabolism doesnt, and baguettes suck. Zach, for eating more than 6 hot dogs, got his picture on the wall and a t-shirt. I got nothing :( Thats ok though, because I had a really fun time, am uber impressed by Zach, and I got to eat a lot of tasty hot dogs. Michelle stole one though. Before we left, full and content, I gave my hot dogs one last stare down and then threw them away. Its just too much hot dog for one person. So, a challenge to all you pre-frosh during CPW, lets get together and go to Spikes, I want to see you all eat over 6 hot dogs. Ill try to get funding, but bring some money along in case I cant. Its about $2.50 a dog, its a good time!